There's some truth to that, but there are some times that are better than others. Some great times to ask are:

• Assuming they like your first draft ─ and say so ─ ask for a referral. You can be light about it, but this is a time when they're feeling good about you.
• Whenever your client comments about how much they like you or your work, thank them and ask for a referral.
• At the completion of the project, ask for a referral. This is generally thought of as the best time to ask for referrals, but I've found that I get better results when I ask during the project because they're actively thinking about me and the work I'm doing.
• When you follow-up to see how they're doing, ask for a referral. Just because you're done, it doesn't mean you can't ask! Plus, they likely could use your help again.

You have to assume that your client is not thinking about giving a referral. He or she has much bigger fish to fry, such as growing their own business and making sales.

That's why asking after the project is complete isn't always the best time to ask.

From the moment the thought of contracting for your services comes to the customer’s awareness to a short time after the contract is complete, the customer goes through aheightened awareness time.

Just after you and they have signed the contract, let them know that your business is a referral-based business. If they're pleased with the work that you do for them, you're going to ask for a referral. Get their agreement up-front on this.

Also get their agreement that you'd like to conduct a completion interview with them at the end of the project. Project managers like to call this the "post mortem," but I don't like to think of my projects as dead beasts.

If it's a lengthy project, you can remind them during each phase that you depend on referrals. Remember the heightened awareness time I mentioned earlier.

At the completion of the project, here's what you can do to increase your odds of getting a good referral:

1. Conduct a project completion interview.

I know my clients hired me to write so they wouldn't have to. Some are happy to provide a testimonial, but most would rather suck sour lemons. Conduct a short phone interview and ask specific questions about their experience with you and the project. Be sure to ask if you can quote them.

Conducting a final interview like this serves several purposes:

• You'll get the best possible testimonial (because you write it using their words) …
• You get them thinking again about the job you did for them …
• They are instantly more prepared to offer referrals to people they know …
• And, it leaves a wide opening to talk about what's on the horizon and how else you can help them.

2. Make it easy for them to refer you to others.

Unfortunately, when I ask for referrals, I'll often hear "I'll have to think about it and get back to you." They rarely do.

I've had better success by creating a referral email for them. Most people would rather be in control of a referral. They don't want to just hand out names and phone numbers. Besides, a referral that comes directly from them is far more powerful than a cold call from you.

Here's what you do:

Create an email template into which all they need provide is the name of the recipient, and perhaps a few personal remarks.

The email should be simple and straightforward, highlight how you can help the referral, and provide your contact information.

Has he read the email from your client?

Does she have time to talk (ever)?

Does he prefer the anonymity of email over a real-live person?

Either way, the objective is to begin a conversation about how you can help them, and the best way to know that is to do your homework before that first contact.

Once you've agreed that they need help, and you can help them, the rest is "just" sales.